The Power of Positive Words

My wife was really bothering me that morning. I was supposed to meet my instructor Phillip at the Parapente launch point in Alto Hospicio, the famous Paraglide site just 40 minutes from our ranch, at 10:30 AM, and we were running late. She had volunteered to drive so I could prep my radio and equipment, but we left our apartment late because of some important issue with her hair. (And all my fellow varones say, ‘Yeah, I know’)  

“Faster!” I said, at least three times in the first kilometer, looking at the clock nervously.

“I’m going as fast as I can” she’d reply, with the stress in her voice increasing with every comment out of my mouth.

Funny thing was, the more I would “encourage her” to go faster, the slower she went, and the more semaforos we’d miss.

“You are going to make me so late, Lisa!” I said, “you always do this to me.” 

“The more you talk, dear” replied my precious wife, “the more it makes me nervous, and the slower I go. Do you want me to go slower?” she asked.

“Of course not,” I replied, probably with an imperious tone.

“Then, husband,” she said coquettishly, “As the king of Spain said to Hugo Chavez, porque no te calles?”

Of course, I couldn’t shut up, and so I kept the negative talk going all the way up the Cerro Dragon.

When we arrived, at 10:35AM, Phillip was just pulling up at the same time, and I realized I had been stressed for nothing. It also dawned on me that all that tension and worry about arriving on time, and the negativity I bathed my wife in, pretty much ruined the morning, and held the potential for ruining the whole day.

I looked at Lisa, and saw on her face I was correct. She was not happy. Her normally radiant smile had been replaced with a frown, and she held the video camera in her hand as if it was a heavy anchor.

“Are you going to be there at the landing zone, to record me when I land?” I asked in my cheeriest voice.

It was a routine that is repeated every day by parapentistas who take off from lovely Alto Hospicio. The idea was that after video taping the take off, Lisa would get in our car, drive quickly down the mountain, and arrive at the landing zone in time to record me touching down.

“Well, since I drive so slowly, and always make you late, I don’t think I can.” She replied, still frowning.

Thankfully, right at that moment, I recalled a principle about parapenting that Phillip had taught me the week before, and I applied to the situation at hand.

For the first time that morning, I said something positive to my wife.

“Sure you can, honey. You’re a great driver, and a great photographer. You’ll be there. I’ll see you at the bottom!” I said, and then took off.

The principle I had recalled was what Phillip called “Focusing on the good result,” and it works in life, as well as landings.

You see, when you jump off a mountain hanging from a parapente, two things are certain: gravity hasn’t been suspended, and you are not a bird.  The only question that’s left is,  “since I’m going down, where should I land?” I’ve been a pilot all my adult life, and to me, parapenting is sort of like a controlled crash. We all know we are going to meet the ground soon, the question is just whether or not we’ll do it where we intend to – on a nice soft sandy spot, rather than on an electric pole or a picnic table bench.

For my first solo attempt at landing on a point a few weeks earlier, Phillip underscored this and tried to get my mind in the right place.

“Listen, Geoff” he said seriously, you have over 10,000 square meters of smooth, obstacle free dirt to land on, but over here to the north there is a picnic table with a wooden bench. So just focus on the “X” I’ve put in the center of the cancha and whatever you do, “don’t focus on the bench!”

He went on to explain. “I’ve seen countless students do this. It’s weird! When they start thinking negatively, and start trying “to avoid the bench” they invariable fly right into it! I’ve had over a dozen good pilots focus on that bench, try to miss it, and crash right into it. So all I want you to do Geoff is focus on the landing zone, and don’t look at the bench at all.”

When we focus only on the negative in life, not only does it affect our joy, but pessimism and nihilism creeps in. If all we say to people is “no you can’t” they start to believe it, and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. When the Bible says that “life and death are in the power of the tongue” this is exactly what it is talking about. Yet how many times have I told my wife “you drive too slow” rather than “you’ll make it in time?”

Certain publications in our region seem to specialize in focusing on the negative - Just crimes and auto accidents, death, and misery. If all I knew about Iquique and Alto Hospicio was what I read in that newspaper, I’d leave the house in a bullet proof vest and a helmet, and drive to work in an armoured vehicle! That’s one of the reasons Choxota exists – to give us “otra Mirada” at our pueblo that focuses on the good result, not just all the negative.

It was a short flight that morning, and as I prepared to land, still about 500 meters in the air, I noticed Lisa’s car in the distance, racing to arrive in time to videotape my landing. “Look at that!” I said to myself, “she’s actually going to make it! I guess she believed me when I told her she would!”

As I set up for my final approach, I saw Lisa get out of the car with the video cam, and knew she was going to be able to record my landing. Only at that moment did I realize I had drifted dangerously close to the North, and was perilously approaching, you guessed it, that stupid picnic bench!

Old habits die hard I guess, and forgetting everything Philip had taught me, I looked at that bench rising up to meet me, and heard these words coming out of my own mouth in fright: “Whatever you do Geoff, don’t crash into that bench!”

Lisa recorded the whole thing, just as I hoped she would. Today we enjoy showing friends the tape, and they always laugh when they see my controlled crash, right into that bench.